Saturday, February 1, 2014

An Introduction To The World Of Nomadic Fungi

Director of the Nomadic Fungi Institute
Dr B.F. Smith PhD
A few weeks ago I was hiking around Dinosaur Valley State Park, enjoying the cool weather and comparing my shoe size with those of various dinosaurs. Around lunch time as I sat on the river bank, a group of Webelos Scouts walked by being led by a tour guide. But this wasn't your normal park ranger, this man was dressed in a charcoal gray, pin stripped, wool suit, with matching fedora. His gray beard and horn rimmed glasses gave him the air of someone of knowledge. I couldn't help but easdrop on his lecture...

He rambled on about the size and weight of the various dinosaurs, and their eventual extension. That's when he slipped off topic and began to talk about the eventual extension of the human race, and how  Nomadic Fungi were sure to play a big part in our demise. The kids started to get a bit freaked out. I was like WTF is he talking about!?

Later in the day, after having my fill of dinosaur tracks, mosquitoes and chiggers, I headed back to the car. As I was tossing my backpack and muddy shoes in the trunk I noticed the wool suited tour guide was unlocking the car next to me.

I just had to ask, What was that killer fungus thing all about?

He introduced himself as Dr. B.F. Smith PhD. He's the director of the Nomadic Fungi Institute, and that the "killer fungus" is a modern mutation known as Nomadic Fungi. It is a parasitic fungus that attaches itself to automobiles and feeds upon the various components. The spores of this fungus are spread on the wind, and if not addressed this fungus has the capacity of decimating the transportation network that our society is built upon.

...Two weeks later, I 've started my new job as the "Archivist" at the Nomadic Fungi Institute.

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